## 2026-04-22 Systems 9:20am Lately i've been obsessed with systems. Little opportunities to smooth out the friction of my day. Bringing some element of control back to me. Tracking my sleep, tracking the gym, eating healthier... Suddenly you still feel like shit, inescapable lonliness claws back up. Again, as expected. By now you know the cycle of life. You like to think it's a little less but you're not sure. You won't know for sure until you are completely, objectively, out of the funk. Hyper aware, you know that this system building has been a mask, a fun, dopamine induced mask, sinking yourself into an interest that you actually do enjoy, that *also* manages to benefit you. A mask is a mask. A mirror is a mirror. When I suspect I am hiding from myself, writing breaks me open.